Derp Wars – Sapphire Post 3

One day I will read Twilight, so that I may be inspired to write better.

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Derp Wars – Sapphire Post 3 (incomplete)

But no, no, of course not; you can’t just wimp out and half-ass the rest, because you’d never be able to live with yourself if you did.  And you can’t ask for help, because [i]you’re[/i] supposed to be the person that the other girls look up to for direction.  Sometimes it really sucks being responsible, though; you don’t have Sakuya’s time-cheats or Tullia’s great big heart or Remilia’s charisma to get you through the tough times.  One of these days you just [i]know[/i] you’ll get there, though!  And then you can rub it in their faces by showing that you don’t need to be special to be special!

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Derp Wars – Sapphire Post 2 (incomplete)

You’re not even going to give Therese an inch; if you engage her in conversation you’ll never be rid of her.  Be firm with children and they’ll usually leave you alone. You tell her you don’t want to do whatever it is that she’s about to suggest; you already have “plans”.  She asks you what if she was about to suggest not bothering the other girls tonight, hmm?  You say don’t start that; she knows what you mean.  She then of course asks what [i]kind[/i] of plans, and you say that they’re [i]your[/i] kind of plans, not hers, so go be cuh-razee someplace that is not this immediate vicinity.  You attempt to punctuate the request with a COMMANDING VAMPIRE LEER; the effect leaves something to be desired, as Therese is still standing there once you’ve turned it off.

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Derp Wars – Sapphire Post 1 (incomplete)

You are not “Sapphire”.  Sapphire was a name given to you out of backhanded spite by the person whom you admire above all else, and is a clumsy portmanteau for “Saturday’s faux vampire”.  You abhor the name, but as it was given to you by the person who so graciously made you a “faux vampire” in the first place, you’ve been forced to suck it up and learn how to deal.  Names are an important thing to vampires: with their long lives, their name is their legacy, inspiring fear and honor to all who hear it.

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