“You remember that one movie, Adaptation?  You know, the movie with Nicolas Cage and then the other Nicolas Cage too?”


“Well there’s… Oh, you don’t?  Ohh…  Well’s there’s this part in it where like, Nic Cage is all, ‘Eoohh, I doun’t knouw whaht tou doou,’ so he goes to this like writing clinic for screenwriters coached by this old guy who’s really smart, I guess ’cause he’s some old screenwriter who’s written all the screens already?”

“That Cage impersonation is horrible; he doesn’t sound anything like that.”

“Oh, thanks; I’ve been kind of working on it and I think I’m making a lot of progress!  But anyways, so Nick goes to the clinic-ma-bob and he stands up and says, ‘Umm, but, umm, but what if you’re writing a story where nothing much happens, and there’s no conflict and it’s just a bunch of people talking about nothing, just like real life?’  And the old guy just totally rails on him for like three minutes about how real life sucks, and there’s wars, and divorces and suicides every day, and Nic Cage’s hair is even worse in this movie than it is in real life, y’know, stuff like that.”

“I have a hard time believing he broke the fourth wall just to insult Cage’s hair.”

“Yeah, I guess me too; the movie was really weird now that I think about it.  But, like, point is, real life’s only as exciting as you make it.  If you think it’s boring it’s going to be boring, and if you think it’s splendiferous it’s going to be splendiferous.  Doesn’t really matter what it’s about, really.  S’all about if you’ve got a good director.”

“Thought we were talking about screenwriters.”

“Wha?  Oh, no, because umm, I’m pretty sure that God is the screenwriter.  He’s a real good one too; I think he won the Oscar like, couple thousand years running?  Not really sure who he was running against.”

“And that’s why you’re writing stories about bowling night and where you went for lunch yesterday.”

“Well, I mean, I write about other things too.  Like, a few weeks ago I did one where it was just the group doing band practice?  But then I wondered to myself, ‘Hey, what if, it was the exact same band practice, but it was an alternate universe where humans had seven fingers?’  I mean, that’d totally change guitars at the very least.  Pianos more, though.”

“…I worry about you sometimes.”

“Thanks.  It’s good to know people care.”

{I think this might mean something.  Honest.}


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