Eyes Glazed Over

Such a poetic phrase.  It evokes such feeling.  I have heard it, often.  I have used it, often.  Others know what it means, and they can follow a conversation which uses it with ease.  But I realized that I have never truly understood it.  What does it truly mean, to have your eyes glaze over?  What does it feel like?  Or is it simply a phrase without concrete meaning, spawned from nowhere?

I know now that it is real.  I know that it never happened to me until just recently.  I know because I have never felt that way before.  I know now what it feels like, to have your eyes glaze over.

It does not feel good.

It happened to me while reading, rather than while being talked to, which seems the so-frequent instigator of the phrase.  I reached a passage of such insipid melodrama, such cliché, that I physically could read no further.  My eyes never left the page, my head never turned; the words blurred in front of me as if they were some foreign language.  I could not think.  My subconscious brain was aware that the subject matter was something I did not like, but my conscious brain had no response.  None.  I could only sit there, unseeing, unthinking, paralyzed by a force I do not understand.

It is said that when you stare into the abyss, the abyss also stares back into you.  I believe now that when your eyes glaze over, they see that abyss, instead of what is in front of them.  But within that abyss there is nothing.  Nothing at all.  And “nothing” is what stares back.  Not a lack of presence, but “Nothing” as a force, as an entity, not unlike Chaos, Time, or Death.  Nothing robs you of your ability to do “something”.  You cannot comprehend, you cannot react, and you do not even understand that you do not understand, until that glaze has passed over you.

And it does not feel good.


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